Standing before the flame of a Yizkor candle, this prayer helps your memories of loved ones burn brightly alongside the wick. The prayer for lighting yizkor candle is a sacred moment, a quiet bridge between the living and the departed. You light the flame not just to remember, but to honor, to connect, and to let their presence fill the room once more.
This guide walks you through the exact words, the timing, and the meaning behind this tradition. You will find the complete prayer, step-by-step instructions, and answers to common questions. No fluff. Just practical, heartfelt guidance for your moment of remembrance.
Understanding The Yizkor Candle Tradition
Yizkor means “remember” in Hebrew. The candle burns for 24 hours, usually on Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret, Passover, and Shavuot. Some families also light it on the anniversary of a loved one’s death (Yahrzeit).
The flame represents the soul. Jewish tradition teaches that the soul of a loved one continues to shine, just like the candle’s light. When you recite the prayer for lighting yizkor candle, you are asking God to remember their soul and to grant them peace.
When To Light The Yizkor Candle
- Before sunset on Yom Kippur
- Before sunset on Shemini Atzeret
- Before sunset on the last day of Passover
- Before sunset on Shavuot
- On the Yahrzeit (anniversary of death)
The candle should burn for the full 24 hours. It is placed in a safe spot, away from drafts or flammable objects. Many families use a glass holder or a metal tray.
What The Candle Symbolizes
The flame is a metaphor for the soul’s eternal light. In Proverbs 20:27, it says, “The soul of man is the lamp of the Lord.” When you light the candle, you are kindling a spiritual connection. The prayer for lighting yizkor candle gives words to that connection.
Some families light multiple candles for each loved one. Others light one candle for all. Both are acceptable. The key is intention, not quantity.
Prayer For Lighting Yizkor Candle
Here is the traditional prayer. You can say it in Hebrew, English, or both. The words are the same for any loved one—parent, spouse, child, sibling, or friend.
The Full Prayer Text
Hebrew (transliteration):
Yizkor Elohim nishmat (name) shehalach l’olamo. Ba’avur she’ani noder tzedakah b’ad nishmato. B’gan Eden t’hei menuchato.
English translation:
May God remember the soul of (name) who has gone to their eternal rest. Because I pledge charity on behalf of their soul, may their resting place be in the Garden of Eden.
You insert the name of your loved one. For a father, say “avi” or “my father.” For a mother, say “imi” or “my mother.” For a child, say “bni” or “my son,” “biti” or “my daughter.”
How To Say The Prayer
- Light the candle first. Say the blessing over lighting candles if you wish.
- Stand or sit quietly. Focus on the flame.
- Recite the prayer for lighting yizkor candle slowly.
- Add personal memories or a silent moment after the prayer.
- Let the candle burn. Do not blow it out.
You can say the prayer at any point during the 24 hours. Many people say it right after lighting. Others wait until evening or the next morning. There is no wrong time.
Step-By-Step Guide To Lighting The Candle
Follow these steps for a meaningful experience. Each step is simple but carries deep significance.
Step 1: Prepare The Space
- Place the candle on a stable surface
- Remove flammable items nearby
- Set a glass of water nearby if needed
- Dim the lights to focus on the flame
Some families place a photo of the loved one next to the candle. Others add a small object that reminds them of the person. This is optional but can help focus your thoughts.
Step 2: Light The Candle
Use a match or a lighter. If you are lighting multiple candles, light them one by one. Some people say a simple blessing: “Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu l’hadlik ner shel Yom Tov” (for holidays) or “shel Shabbat” (for Shabbat).
If you are not comfortable with Hebrew, say in English: “Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to kindle the light of the holiday.”
Step 3: Recite The Prayer For Lighting Yizkor Candle
Now say the prayer. Speak clearly. If you are emotional, it is okay to pause. The prayer does not have to be perfect. The sincerity matters more than the exact words.
You can add a personal line after the prayer. For example: “I remember your kindness, your laughter, and your love. May your soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life.”
Step 4: Spend Time In Reflection
Sit with the flame for a few minutes. Think about a specific memory. What did you learn from this person? What made them unique? Let the silence hold your thoughts.
Some families read a Psalm, such as Psalm 23 or Psalm 121. Others share stories aloud. This is a good time to involve children or grandchildren.
Step 5: Let The Candle Burn
Do not extinguish the flame. Let it burn out on its own. This usually takes 24 to 26 hours. If you need to leave the house, make sure the candle is in a safe place. Never leave a burning candle unattended in a room with pets or small children.
Personalizing Your Yizkor Moment
The prayer for lighting yizkor candle is a template. You can make it your own. Here are ways to add personal meaning.
Add A Memory
After the prayer, say one specific memory. For example: “I remember how you always made challah on Friday afternoons. The smell filled the whole house.” This turns the prayer into a personal tribute.
Include Family Members
If you are lighting with others, ask each person to share one memory. This creates a collective moment of remembrance. Children can draw a picture or say a simple sentence.
Use Music Or Silence
Some families play a song that the loved one enjoyed. Others prefer complete silence. Both are valid. The goal is to create a space where you feel connected.
Light For Multiple People
If you are remembering more than one person, you can say the prayer for lighting yizkor candle once for each. Or you can say it once and mention all names. For example: “May God remember the souls of my father, my mother, and my brother.”
Common Questions About The Yizkor Candle Prayer
Here are answers to frequent questions. These will help you feel confident when lighting the candle.
Do I Need To Say The Prayer In Hebrew?
No. You can say it in English or any language you understand. The prayer is about intention, not language. Many people say it in English for clarity.
Can I Light The Candle If I Am Not Jewish?
Yes. The tradition is rooted in Judaism, but anyone can light a candle to remember a loved one. The prayer for lighting yizkor candle is a universal act of love and memory.
What If I Forget To Light The Candle?
Do not worry. You can light it the next day or at another time. The important thing is that you remember. Some families light it on the nearest Friday night if they miss the exact day.
Can I Use An Electric Candle?
Traditional Yizkor candles are wax with a wick. But if safety is a concern, an electric candle is acceptable. The meaning comes from your heart, not the type of flame.
How Long Should The Prayer Take?
As long as you need. Some people say it in 30 seconds. Others take 10 minutes with personal reflections. There is no time limit.
Yizkor Candle Prayers For Different Loved Ones
The prayer for lighting yizkor candle can be adapted for any relationship. Here are examples for common situations.
For A Parent
“May God remember the soul of my beloved father/mother. I give charity on behalf of their soul. May they rest in peace in the Garden of Eden. I carry their lessons in my heart every day.”
For A Spouse
“May God remember the soul of my dear husband/wife. Our life together was a blessing. I honor their memory with this light. May their soul be at peace.”
For A Child
“May God remember the soul of my precious son/daughter. Though you left too soon, your light still shines. I hold you in my heart forever.”
For A Sibling Or Friend
“May God remember the soul of my brother/sister/friend. We shared so many moments. I light this candle in your honor. May your memory be a blessing.”
The Deeper Meaning Of The Flame
Jewish mysticism teaches that the flame has three parts: the wick, the fire, and the light. The wick represents the physical body. The fire represents the soul. The light represents the connection to God.
When you recite the prayer for lighting yizkor candle, you are acknowledging all three parts. You remember the person’s physical presence. You honor their soul. And you ask for their soul to be bound up in the eternal light of God.
This is why the candle burns for 24 hours. It mirrors the soul’s journey. Just as the flame flickers and dances, so does the memory of your loved one. It never truly goes out.
A Short Meditation For The Flame
If you want to deepen your moment, try this meditation. After lighting the candle and saying the prayer, close your eyes. Breathe slowly. Imagine the flame as a light inside your chest. Think of your loved one. Let their image appear in your mind. Say their name silently. Feel their presence. Open your eyes when you are ready.
This takes only two minutes. It can transform the act of lighting into a powerful spiritual experience.
Yizkor Candle Etiquette And Safety
Safety is important. Here are guidelines to keep in mind.
Placement
- Put the candle on a non-flammable surface
- Keep it away from curtains, papers, and bedding
- Do not place it near a fan or open window
- Use a glass holder or metal tray underneath
Supervision
Never leave a burning candle alone in a room with children or pets. Check on it periodically. If you are going to sleep, make sure it is in a safe spot. Some people put it in the kitchen sink or bathtub for extra safety.
Disposal
After the candle burns out, let the wax cool completely. Then dispose of it in the regular trash. Some families save the glass holder for next year. Others recycle it.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Is The Exact Prayer For Lighting Yizkor Candle?
The prayer is: “May God remember the soul of (name) who has gone to their eternal rest. Because I pledge charity on behalf of their soul, may their resting place be in the Garden of Eden.” You can say it in Hebrew or English.
Can I Say The Prayer For Lighting Yizkor Candle At Any Time?
Yes. While it is traditional to say it on specific holidays or the Yahrzeit, you can light the candle and say the prayer whenever you feel the need to remember a loved one.
Do I Need To Give Charity When I Say The Prayer?
Many people give tzedakah (charity) in memory of the loved one before or after lighting. This is a meaningful addition but not required. The prayer itself mentions pledging charity, so giving even a small amount fulfills that intention.
What If I Don’t Know The Hebrew Name Of My Loved One?
Use their English name. The prayer is about the heart, not the language. You can say “my mother” or “my father” if you do not know their Hebrew name.
Can Children Say The Prayer For Lighting Yizkor Candle?
Absolutely. Children can say a simplified version: “God, please remember (name). I love them and miss them. May they be at peace.” This teaches them the tradition in a way they can understand.
Final Thoughts On The Yizkor Candle Prayer
Lighting a Yizkor candle is a simple act. But it carries immense weight. The flame connects you to generations of Jews who have done the same. It connects you to your loved one in a way that words alone cannot.
The prayer for lighting yizkor candle gives structure to your grief and your gratitude. It allows you to say, “I remember. I honor. I love.” And that is enough.
When you stand before that flame, you are not alone. Your loved one is there, in the light, in the memory, in the prayer. Let the candle burn. Let the prayer rise. Let the memory live.
Take a deep breath. Light the wick. Say the words. And know that you have done something sacred.